The Cricket Thread

OK, so I know a lot of people don't like cricket. I also know I don't care what you think. I need to get this off my chest:

1) Brett Lee, you're a fucking knob. Learn how to bowl. You aint special aside from the fact that you can bowl at stupidly high speeds. The Indians are really lily livered bitches, so bowl really fast at their heads. Today you fucked up and I personally hold you responsible for destroying Steve Waugh's life

2) Jason Gillespie, you are the bollocks mate.

3) India, you have done really damn well for a 3rd world country. Now fuck off and declare. Im sick of seeing you little assholes bat.

4) Simon Katich, you don't belong in the Test arena, give up and go home.

5) Stuart Magill - you're a pretty tidy bowler. Born in any other country you would've taken 200 test wickets. But smile would you? You look like you're always grumpy, and no one likes a grump. Remember - chicks dig Shane Warne, so if you want to compete with him, get a faux mohawk and your teeth polished. He's got drugs on his side too, so you will have to work harder.

6) Learn to catch Australia. My mum can catch better and she's a fucking double amputee.

I think that's all I have to say. Cricket fans please add your rants and observations if you can be bothered.

OK i'll join in on the rant

Brett Lee
Yes you can bowl a mean yorker and even bowl a half decent bouncer, but for fucks sake can you learn how to keep a part of your foot BEHIND the fucking line
was that 15 or 18 no balls he bowled in indias innings and thats fucking shameful. One of his no balls cost him the wicket of chopra as well.
He isnt even bowling that fast at the moment either. Has yet to hit the 150km/hr in the last 2 games.
Also going for 5+ runs an over in test match cricket isnt acceptable

Jason Gillespie
How this guy is all class. Australia got pummelled and he was the only bowler that can hold his head high. He took 3 wickets, and kept them to under 3 an over which is a top effort.

Nathan Bracken
Very up and down in this match. Not trying to swing the ball at all and seems content just to hold an end up. Could have a good future though.

Simon Katich
Useless..fucking useless.. he has dropped catches in every fucking game he plays. Hopefully boof lehmann will be fit soon and this useless cunt can fuck off back to NSW

Well it was a matter of time before Sachin hit his straps again, and i mentioned to Prime yesterday when tendulkar came in to join laxman that these 2 are likely to put on 300 runs. Unfortunately i was right.

Well i think they will declare overnight and the aussies will bat tomorrow morning. They wont win this game but lets hope that they can bat for 2 days and turn this game into a boring draw.

Fuck we need Glenn McGrath back in the side...

I think we're starting to see that Australia isnt really the worlds best cricket side. We simply had the 2 greatest bowlers of all time in Macgrath & Warne. Without them we are very average and apart from Gillespie there is very little to look forward to.

Katich - What a fucking joke. I think the only reason he's made the side is because he has been taken under Steve Waugh's wing. SW has helped him through his career so far and saw him as a potential star. Looks like you were very wrong their Steve.

Macgill - Fuck off. You are an okay spinner when in form but unfortunately that isnt as often as it should be at this level. And what is the deal with your attitude. Everytime Ive seen him interviewed it sounds like he's been listening to too many self help tapes. You definately think you are the best spinner in the world and as a result are not giving the Indians anywhere near the respect their batting line-up deserves. And dropping one catch we'll forgive, but 2 is simply not on. Thankfully Warne will be back soon and you can fuck off back to a level more suitable to your skillls.

On a brighter note, I cant wait to see Ponting bat again. He will be recognised as the greatest player ever by the end of his career so I wanna see as much of it as possible.

And Tendulker - you are an amazing cricketer and Im glad we're getting to finally see your true talent on this tour. Go the Indians I say. Maybe it will give the Aussies the kick up the arse they need. As a unit right now they're pretty damn pathetic and hopefully losing this series will help them do something about it.

Where is the young talent?????

Thats it guys, jump off the bandwagon hehe.

I agree with a few of the calls here though. MacGill is a good bowler,( i think I read that he was the second highest wicket taker in tests this year ) but he is a wanker and i can't stand him.

Brett Lee is a bit of a tosser as well. Whats with that fucking chainsaw thing he does after every wicket.Maybe someone should take a chainsaw and chop his head down to a normal size. He even did it when he got Tendulkar caught out down the leg side. Ummmm, dude that ball should have gone for four....

Thank god we have Mcgrath and Warne back soon.

QUOTE (Stryke @ Jan 3 2004, 11:15 PM)

Thank god we have Mcgrath and Warne back soon.

I heard today Macgrath has suffered a set back and may not play this summer.

QUOTE (Noddy @ Jan 3 2004, 11:17 PM)

QUOTE (Stryke @ Jan 3 2004, 11:15 PM) Thank god we have Mcgrath and Warne back soon. I heard today Macgrath has suffered a set back and may not play this summer.

Nooooooooooo.

I wanna see The Pidge do his pissed off shoulder twitch accompanied by the batsmen stare down and the one line sledge.

Or even the walk down to fine leg shrugging, shaking his head and mumbling to himself after a bad over

tandulkar was on fire today, it was his personal best test score, and it was good to see him have a good innings after a pretty bad performance in the last match.

i reckon that wickie for india is gonna be a fucking great cricketer oneday. they were sayin the other day that he's the youngest wicket keeper in test history, and he's doin pretty well considering his age and inexperience. not a bad batsman either, him and tandulkar had a pretty good partnership today before the end of the day

Apparently the Indian wickie has his sights on opening the batting if his improvement continues.

I take my hat off to the Indians, everyone expected them to lose 4-0, and they have completly sodomized the Aussies on this tour.

I disagree with Spadge about them declaring overnight. There is no point in it. May as well keep on batting and really put the game out of Australias reach. India only need a win or draw to retain the cup, there is no way that they will declare overnight, let the Aussies (or should I say Ponting, Hayden and Gilly) pile on 400+ tomorrow then declare once they are past the follow on. Ganguly isn't stupid enough to let that happen, then go out and bat again and set a target, or god forbid - get rolled and let australia waltz to a win. He won't be giving the Aussies any favours and frankly they don't deserve it. India will bat for all 5 days if they can.

The Australians have really fallen from grace. The experience and cool heads of Lehmann, McGrath and Warne is showing. Katich, Bracken, Williams etc are all good state players, but they just don't cut it at international level. I don't even know why Martyn is still in the team. He hasn't scored a 100 in his last 33 innings, that's a leaner period than what Taylor, Mark and Steve Waugh went through, so why aren't the media calling for his head and resisting from applying any pressure on him?

From an Australian point of view were just bloody lucky Laxman is out. If he had stayed there with Tendulkar for a couple of sessions tomorrow, then Tendulkar would have been a good chance of breaking Haydens 380. If the wickie can manage to stick around for a while this may still not be out of the question.

Everyone's been saying for a number of years what a golden period australian cricket is in, and maybe it has been, but they are well and truly fucked in terms of up and coming players. Michael Clarke is the only person I can think of who could slot into the team straight from the domestic competition. no one else is anywhere near up to scratch. We have no premier shield players outside of the team who are under 30 odd (Bevan, Love, Law etc.). I expect some very bleak years ahead.

Tendulkar: What a class act. Far from his best and he still manages to score 220. I'm inspired and in absolute awe.

Brett Lee: A fucking disgrace. Too many no balls yesterday, then bowling a half metre inside the crease today. No rythm, no line, no length. Laxman took 5 fours off of him in 2 overs this morning. Shoaib Aktar won the game for the Pakkies earlier this week with fearsome tight, brutal bowling, and did it with lightning pace. Lee has as good as lost the game for Australia over the last 2 days and given Steve Waugh the most fucked up send off he could ever get. The whole chainsaw/lawnmower thing personifies his arrogance, and totally shits me. It was funny seeing it once two years ago, but when your teams in fucking deep shit I hardly think you can showpony and carry on when taking a wicket.

VVS Laxman: I cannot believe the grace this player has. He reminds me of Mark Waugh in terms of playing the most brilliant, effortless shots, but he's even better again. The aussies just cannot stop this man, and he is such a big game player. He won the series for India last time in India scoring 270 odd and has again played a massive role today which has gone a long way to them retaining the trophy.

Gillespie: I'd be tearing the mullet out if I had to bowl with such other fucktards. No experience from half and a god's gift attitude from the other half. Bolwed brilliantly today for little reward, but got such little support. I don't think McGrath is going to play a lot more cricket for the Aussies. Gillespie will still be around for a number of years (injury permitting)... he is the man to lead the attack and needs to be given encouragement by the captain in terms of his field placings.

Steve Waugh: I feel so sorry for him. He deserves better then this. However he did cook his own goose today by having such defensive field placings when Gillespie was bowling. If he looked like the only bowler likely to take a wicket then why was no one remotly near the bat? There was only one slip (and even that was a 3rd slip) for most of the day. How the fuck are they meant to get a team out if they don't attack? it's almost like they had conceeded a loss already, and it was only halfway through the 2nd day! Terrible!

I think it's fair to say Andy Bichel is the unluckiest man in australia at the moment. Always 12th man, but always shines on the rare occasion he gets a game. He cops it on the chin and fights hard to get back in every time and he is experienced. Giving a schmuck like Williams a game is rubbish. He isn't that good and obviously isn't a team man aftr the spray he gave the ACB and Bracken after not getting into the first test. Even though Williams is only 12th man for this test, I cannot believe Bracken and Williams were selected ahead of bichel in what was undoutebly the biggest game of cricket for the Aussies in the last 10+ years (both in terms of continuing their dominance and proving themselves and for Waugh's final test.)

Playing a second string team against a quality opposition is completly unforgivable.

Steve Waugh thanks for the memories. I'm sorry it had to end like this. :|

I agree with Noddy
Ricky Ponting has showed this summer that he is an absolutely sensational batsman
his average over the summer is better than bradmanesque.
Also with him about to take over the reigns of the Australian team, i can see him becoming the greatest batsman of our era.

Only downside i see for Ponting, is that he will take over the team just as its on the downward slide...fall from grace if you will

Being the next Australian captain will be a tough roll and he will cop the brunt of it over the next couple of years.

I agree with Mike that Clarke is the only outstanding talent going around locally that i think WILL step into the team on the retirement of SR Waugh.
Other than that...its pretty lean.

I wouldnt say im jumping off the bandwagon, but the immediate future is starting to look grim for the Aussies and i would say the ACB and the match committee will be starting to worry

1. who cares
2. who cares
3. who cares

people who like cricket, obviously

ok well

first of all, Brett Lee is a good player, otherwise he wouldn't be in the side - and there's no reason for the #1 cricket team in the world to keep a player in the side just on the fact that he can bowl at a ridiculously fast speed

Jason is the bollocks I agree

i'm sorry, but I am fucking sick of seeing Australia win all the time, it gets boring - good on India for having the balls to step up to the plate and actually present some competition... at least it makes it more interesting to watch

chicks do not dig Shane Warne

that ball Magill (wasn't it?) dropped was fucking annoying, he should have caught it... but I'd prefer him to be out there over me as I would run screaming thinking the ball was going to smash a part of my face or neck

and finally :thumbsup: to getting smashed on beer under the scoreboard and throwing cups up in the air when hotties walk past the hill without their shirts on 40 degree days

I'm not quite sure what the hell india are playin at staying in for that long !!! 700+ no need for that kinda score in a first innings :( they just wanted to break some records me thinks

I'm just glad that i'm both an English and Australian citizen, cause England are crap at cricket !!! I was born in Australia anyway so I've always supported them.

Why are England shit at everything ??????

quite obviously they are putting the game out of australias reach
theres no possible way india can lose the game now

i dont understand how someone can get sick of seeing australia win
that would be like Brisbane Lions supporters saying "i wish someone else would win the premiership this year...im sick of us winning"

I want the aussies to win every fucking game
why?? because im an aussie who loves his cricket and loves his team winning

am i the only one who thinks shane warne should never be allowed to play 4 australia again?i mean they get briefed every yr as wot to and wot not to take and if unsure ask or dont take it ,he gets paid enuf not to be that stupid,even if its not preformance enhancing its still illegal and rules are rules ,who takes sum1 elses medication?no excuse your a drug cheat warney now go eat ya baked beans
p.s. yes im a proud aussie but drug cheats like him give sport a bad name
p.s.s and yes cricket sux go the brisbane bears 4 4 in row:)

now im just a girl but i enjoy cricket as much as the next person.

agreed james n spadgey brett lee has played like shit he is bowling at an average of 10km slower then previous tests. the commentator tried to cover the sorry cunts ass by saying it was to do with his ankle surgery fuck off mate hes a has been. being back mcgrath.

jason gilespe does he even need a comment. top work mate. two big thumbs up.

elle is right. chicks do not dig shane warne. we think he is a self centered arrogant pig. and no the drugs thing wasnt cool. it was only a diuretic not like he was snorting lines of coke off his bat before he took to the field.

and finally india has played tops but enough is enough. were is the sportsmanship its one thing to get a fuck off huge score. but to bat mid way into day three. thats just rude.

/my 2c

QUOTE (iLOVEmyMUM @ Jan 4 2004, 12:38 PM)

am i the only one who thinks shane warne should never be allowed to play 4 australia again?i mean they get briefed every yr as wot to and wot not to take and if unsure ask or dont take it ,he gets paid enuf not to be that stupid,even if its not preformance enhancing its still illegal and rules are rules ,who takes sum1 elses medication?no excuse your a drug cheat warney now go eat ya baked beans p.s. yes im a proud aussie but drug cheats like him give sport a bad name p.s.s and yes cricket sux go the brisbane bears 4 4 in row:)

If he didn't take a performance enhancing drug, why do you label him a "cheat"?

Also, I don't think he did anything illegal. If he did, why wasn't his arse hauled to court? :unsure:

I'm not defending him at all. What he did was utterly moronic and he deserved to be punished, but saying he should never be allowed to play again is a bit harsh I reckon.

On another note - I love The Cricket Show

Bring back Simon O'Donnell!

A friend of me mate (petek?) had Brett Lee walk up to her at the Grand one night and try to pick her up using the line "Hey you know IM the worlds fastest bowler!" Go eat some Weetbix ya tosser :lol:

and as others have said, McGrath is the law, cant wait for this guys return.

hes a cheat because he took sumthing illegal simple as that and i bet he knew what he was taking was illegal ,isnt breaking the rules same as being a cheat?

QUOTE (iLOVEmyMUM @ Jan 4 2004, 01:16 PM)

hes a cheat because he took sumthing illegal simple as that and i bet he knew what he was taking was illegal ,isnt breaking the rules same as being a cheat?

Illegal? What law did he break? :blink:

Also, I don't think breaking a rule necessarily makes someone a cheat. Isn't cheating when you give yourself an unfair advantage? If it is, then I don't think he cheated because he didn't take anything that was performance enhancing.

QUOTE (Aaron @ Jan 4 2004, 01:22 PM)

QUOTE (iLOVEmyMUM @ Jan 4 2004, 01:16 PM) hes a cheat because he took sumthing illegal simple as that and i bet he knew what he was taking was illegal ,isnt breaking the rules same as being a cheat? Illegal? What law did he break? :blink: Also, I don't think breaking a rule necessarily makes someone a cheat. Isn't cheating when you give yourself an unfair advantage? If it is, then I don't think he cheated because he didn't take anything that was performance enhancing.

But the substance is used to mask steroids...

What if he had been doing that?

Meh, who cares, this is sooooo like totally last year *flicks hair*

Looking forward to having him back.

Yeah IF he had been masking steroids, then we could call him a cheat.
But we all know he just took a couple of flu tablets from his mummy. He didn't have naughty intentions.

But yeah, moving on... :)

QUOTE (Aaron @ Jan 4 2004, 01:30 PM)

But we all know he just took a couple of flu tablets from his mummy. He didn't have naughty intentions.

How do we know that? Just cos he said so?!

And his reason (from an interview on ACA with big Ray Martin) was that he wanted to remove the fluid from his double chin after a big night on the red wine.

*cough*wanker*cough*

Don't get me wrong, love Warnie - would have his babies if I could...but yeah, I just don't believe anyone is that fucking stupid!

**double post**

Back onto the current test match...look at the boys go after them now! 13 off this over so far, thank christ this will be at least entertaining!

QUOTE (Prime @ Jan 4 2004, 01:35 PM)

**double post**

:erm: thanks for that information... :tongue:

QUOTE (Prime @ Jan 4 2004, 01:35 PM)

Back onto the current test match...look at the boys go after them now! 13 off this over so far, thank christ this will be at least entertaining!

It looks like they're trying to win the game or something. Crazy bastards :)

Big ups to JL for scoring a ton!

I love the fact that we've come out and are scoring @ 5 runs per over. That's just fookin tops.

Go aussie Go!

Anal Cumball is ripping through them though.. 3/55 so far.

Steve Waugh is in now though! Lets hope he puts on some runs this arvo!

I hope we avoid the follow on...

Martyn will do fuck all as per usual. It's going to be left to Waugh and Gilly.

big ups to dimi - your team cant bowl to our tail end for shit.
bahaha

ponting, hussey and symonds all got lucky with LBW's all plumb, ponting shouldnt of made his hundred he was fucking as plumb the AB de villiers, and hussey would have been out for 5, thank fuck symonds didnt do any damage..

imo alhem dal and billy bowden are two of the most fucking usless umpires in the game, to get that many wrong and then give one out that was clearly going down leg....

and drew, where still ahead atm ;) need 250 runs today and then 4.5 sessions to bowl the aussies out!!

FUCKING USLESS BOWDEN, THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT OUT, FUCKING 4 INCHES ABOVE THE STUMPS, ON HIS TOES HITTING HIM ABOVE THE FUCKING KNEE ROLL, THESE IDIOT UMPIRES ARE GOING TO LOSE RSA THE GAME

gibbs is in some fine form :thumbsup:

he is taking the right track - quick runs to get the total that australia have to win to say 350/370 to give the aussies a sniff, but also a good chance to bowl them out. they should declare before tea - say 5-10 overs and then have a good chance to get them out.

close cricket is what its all about :thumbsup:

2/65 at lunch

This post has been edited by billy boy: Jan 5 2006, 11:05 AM

rains going to ruin it ;( what a shitter

smith mate, you must have giagantic balls, my hat goes off to you for hellava declaration. too bad were now in the process of ripping your african arse in 1/2 B|

aussies have it in the bag now

only need 127 runs and still have 44 overs to get em
ponting and hayden is great form

was a gutsy declaration by smith... good on him for making a game out of it.. but the aussies far too strong today

Ponting is a star.

should have given them 310ish with 70 overs, australia has shown in the one dayers that can hit well in excess of that in 50 overs...

good effort though making a game of it

ponting will reach 50 test centuries before he retires.. the man is a freak

talent aside, it also has to do with the lack of quality bowling attacks around the world, better bats, all grounds being roughly made the same size because of ropes and batsmen friendly pitches...

i think the batsmen of yesteryear had more skill/flare/ability IMO

how about ponting... first ever two score a test century in each innings of his 100th test match.. thats nothing to be sneezed at...

well, thats it - the aussies win with 2/288 in their second innings - great game and shows that cricket is still alive :thumbsup:

the ond-dayers are shaping up to be quite the contest then :w00t:

SA were robbed with the weather. then they put the aussies in and the wickets bathed in sunshine :lol:

2 - 0 series win is very deceptive. The africans put up a hell of a fight this series and cant wait for the 3 match return bout on their soil in a few months.

does anyone think south africa have any hope of achieving such a huge total? (i'm referring to the 20/20 game on now)

This post has been edited by jjcoolaus: Jan 9 2006, 08:05 PM

how good is the cricket!!!

South Africa making a great contest of this. in particular shaun pollock with 3 wickets. (plus ponting has already been dropped!)

Aussies 3/29 after 8 overs.

we need a quick fire 50 from symonds and should be back in it... aslong as those 2 stay in until about the 35 over mark we should still be able to post a decent total

the cricket is fucking great decepticon - as much as i doubt the aussies will diasspoint, it would be refreshing to see them put in their place for a match and have a tight final.

When the aussies posted a total close to 300 in the first match, i didn't even bother seeing the other innings - the aussies already had it in the bag which is kinda sad for the game.

Sure it's great when the aussies win, but lets at least have it close once in a while...

poor poor kalis is goin to have to face lee's bowling next after that little ball in jaw incodent...


cant wait to see lee get some revenge back LOL

apart from that....ozzie's are playing discracefull today

how good was that, fuck i love south africa winning, stick it up your ass ponting you arogant twat!!! woooooooo

Its good that there's competition now,coz srilank dont look like even trying to win a game lol. AUS played good SA should of reach that target with no trouble,but coz of the feild and bowlers they had to work for it.

This post has been edited by JaymzPhoenix: Yesterday, 10:37 AM

well that was fucking weird, seems the lankys aint dead yet!

should be a good comp if they can knock off aus

Nice tight series with every one 1 win and 1 loss

Aust will take it though.. shat on Sri Lanka.. and SA should have got our low score easy the other night and struggled and now looked CRAP tonight

Anotehr one in the pocket for us it seems :)

I reckon I'd rather hear a NZ accent than a fkn South African one