Simpsons quotes

PINCHY!!

Doctor To Homer discussing taking crayon out of his brain

Doc " This will either increase your brain power, or kill you"

Homer" Increase my killing power hey...."

This post has been edited by Stryke: Apr 29 2005, 10:05 PM

hello my name is Mr Snrub (yes that will dO)
I LIKE THE WAY SNRUB THINKS

when you were in that accident; did you feel your brain getting damaged? - Dr Nick

listen to the little voice inside

Food goes in here - Homer's little voice

-give her these, then these, and then these
-Thank you doctor
-o im not a doctor

SOCK PUPPETS!!!! AAHHH

when bart wins the elephant on KBBL
Bart - i want my elephant
JAsper - O its the elephant, i like that song, it reminds me of elephants

o i fucked up
it should be

jasper - o its teh elephant SONG, i like that song, it reminds me of elephants

Do ya have grease woman?
Yes, yes we do...
Then grease me up woman!!
*shirt is ripped off*
okey dokey...

you can dance you can dance everyone look at your pants

you play left feild
yes
i play left field
yes
well are u better than me
well i dont know u but ... yes

i dont want you stalking lenny and karl! -(marge)
ok... i'm going out... to.. stalk...leny and karl..
DOH!

well the doctor said i wouldnt have as many nose bleeds if i just kept my finger out of it

O NO NOT LENNY

my cats breath smells like cats food- ralph.

god i love that kid, he makes the simpsons fucking wicked

your teachers name is krabappel? Ive been calling her Krabtree

go banana!!

quick kiss him, his head tastes like a peanut
(homer kissing hans moleman)

these berries taste like burning

back away, not today, disco lady

yes and you call them steams hams even though their obviously grilled?
mmm steamed hams

ha ha

YESS!!!!
why do you talk like that?
i had a STROKE!!

hope you know the guy i'm talkin about...

This post has been edited by muncher: Apr 29 2005, 10:25 PM

IM THE LIZARD QUEEN

QUOTE (muncher @ Apr 29 2005, 10:25 PM)

YESS!!!! why do you talk like that? i had a STROKE!! hope you know the guy i'm talkin about...

YES BABY I KNOW

what r u gonna do? release the dogs or the bees? or maybe you'll release the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they chew bees at you!!

This post has been edited by muncher: Apr 29 2005, 10:29 PM

so again teh history of our world has changed according to bart, the man who now discovered america was SOME GUY

get out of bum town u bum

*Little Santa's Helper sneezes*
HA! He thinks he's peoples!

mmmmm... something.....

will u kids be quite i cant hear myself think
sorry dad
(thinks) i want some peanuts (out loud) thats better

Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute.
Bart: You com'ere a minute."
Homer: Oh yeah?


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mmmm... invisible cola....

QUOTE (Gander @ Jun 15 2005, 12:56 PM)

Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat. Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster. Marge: And Bart isn't doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome. [Looks out window] Bart: [creepily] Hello, mother dear. Marge: That's it, we have to get them back to school. Homer: I'm with you, Marge. Lisa. Get in here. [Lisa walks in] Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics.

haha i love that one.

i cant take his money, i cant print my own money, i have to WORK for money, why dont i just lie down and DIE?

in homers head

'eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding'

:blush:

ah the simpsons, so much funny in a half hour show.

Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: *bad*bye


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Homer... Purple is a fruit...

homer: so i said to this guy hey it was like that when we got here and as for your grandma, well she shouldnt have mouthed off like that!

yello'? you'll have to speak up, i'm wearing a towel...

;)

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as today we kill tomorrow we die and gladus the groovy mule

Wiggum: OK Dr Collosus, we'll let you go - but you have to promise to stay away from Death Mountain!

Dr Colossus: *sigh* But all my stuff is there :(

HI. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get confident, Stupid!

Moe- am i really that ugly
Carl- moe, it's all relative, is lenny really that stupid, is barney really that drunk, is homer really that fat, dumb and lazy?"
everyone starts crying
Carl- see that's why i don't say much

Homer:

I am invincible... INVINCIBLE!!!
*gets bashed over with a keg of beer*

Ralph Wiggum: This is my sandbox, and thats where I met the Leprechaun
Bart: Riiight Leprechaun
Ralph Wiggum: He told me to burn things :lol:

Homer: Oh look at me Im making people happy, im the magical man from happyland, in a gum drop house on lollypop lane..............oh by the way I was being sarcastic
Marge: Well Duh

Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?

This post has been edited by courtzbvcru87: Jan 27 2006, 12:15 PM

i love this thread hehehe!

i dont kno if this one has been said....

Me fail English - thats unpossible!

Homer: I have a great way to solve our money woes. You rent your
womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant.
Marge: Are you crazy? I'm not going to be a surrogate mother.
Homer: C'mon, Marge, we're a team. It's uter-US, not uter-YOU.
Marge: Forget it!

Homer:And to make up for it i'm going to teach you how to ride your first bike
Bart: Uh dad for one one I already know how to ride a bike, for two that is a girls bike
Homer: Your not a girl, your a boy, a good boy, you could be president, NO you will be president

disco stuzo has ouzo for twozo!

and anything that comes out of Ralph's mouth. How can you not love that boy. :lol:

One of my faves:

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)
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Homer and Marge are going to their high school reunion.

Homer: It'll be great to see the old gang again. Potsie, Ralph Malph, the Fonz.
Marge: That wasn't you, that was "Happy Days"!
Homer: No, they weren't all happy days. Like the time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle, or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back.

also McBain is a classic, this is when he had his own letterman like late night show:

Mcbain: That is some outfit Schoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.
Audience: Booooo!!!
Mcbain: Oh, Maybe you all are homosexuals, too.
Audience: Booooooooooooooooooooo!

homo.wav

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DOH

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer:That's the spirit. Never give up.

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Krusty:Lets just say it moved me. To a bigger house! Oh crap, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A blue car.

Dr Nick : Ohhh, looks like such a lovely day i might take the window (jumps out of window)

Argh, my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!

they have the internet on computers now

Man: You're the man who didn't know whether it was a pimple or a boil!
Homer: It was a gummi bear.

Patch you would know a whole heap :grin:

Ralph on ridlyn
"Im happy and angry"

Homer goes to buy bart a birthday present in the occult store

Homer: Do you have any kids toys?
Creepy old shop keeper: Yes, we have this doll, but beware it comes with a terrible curse!?
Homer: !?
Creepy old shop keeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: Oooh!
Creepy old shop keeper: The frogurt is also cursed!
Homer: *worried*
Creepy old shop keeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: Oooh!
Creepy old shop keeper: The topping contains potassium benzioate!
Homer: ???
Creepy old shop keeper: Thats bad!

This post has been edited by Turbulence: Feb 2 2006, 02:26 PM

Homer: Oh, i like your magazine, especially the section 'Enrich your vocabulary' i thought it was really really really good.

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Raver1 remember this, our planned boycott of the mexican food shop in Myers

You don't make friends with salad
You don't make friends with salad

here's one only the harcore simpsons fans will recognise

homer saying goodbye to oprah
homer: bye opie
oprah: no homer, its oprah, o...prah
homer: opa
oprah: no, o...prah...o...prah
homer: o.....pa
oprah (getting frustrated): like opera but with an O
Homer: Oh i got it, Opro!

This post has been edited by Betterman: Feb 2 2006, 02:37 PM

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Homer: My ears are burning
Lisa: Dad we weren't talking about you
Homer: No my ears are really burning, I wanted to see inside so I lit a q tip

Mmmm... marshmallows
Mmmm... chocolate
Mmmm... Ooh.. Macamadamia nuts
Mmmm... horse doovers
Mmmm... spaghetti
Mmmm... purple
Mmmm... beer
Mmmm... salty
Mmmm... the land of chocolate
Mmmm... crumbled-up cookie things
Mmmm... potato chips
Mmmm... strained peas
Mmmm... snouts
Mmmm... fattening
Mmmm... burger
Mmmm... soylent green
Mmmm... shrimp
Mmmm... grapefruit
Mmmm... organised crime
Mmmm... beer
Mmmm... sixty four slices of American cheese
Mmmm... invisible cola
Mmmm... candy
Mmmm... convenient
Mmmm... forbidden donut
Mmmm... business deal
Mmmm... free goo
Mmmm... apple
Mmmm... hamburgers
Mmmm... foot-long chilli dog
Mmmm... Marge
Mmmm... mediciney
Mmmm... sacrilicious
Mmmm... elephant fresh
Mmmm... caramel
Mmmm... bowling fresh
Mmmm... urinal fresh
Mmmm... slanty
Mmmm... incapacitating
Mmmm... beer nuts
Mmmm... open faced club sandwich
and my favourite
Mmmm... something

Homer: It seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.
Skinner: How ironic


Wiggum: I tell ya, they only come out a night, or in this case, the daytime.


Homer: He has all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: (pause)... A dinosaur


Apu: I can recite pi to 40,000 places. The last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmmm... pie.

"Thats not a sun set! Thats a Bird on fire " Lisa Simpson (boy in a bubble)

wise words on beer:


Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.



Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.


Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!


Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

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Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!


Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute.
Bart: You com'ere a minute."
Homer: Oh yeah?

Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding ...

Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.

Homer: Hey boy! Wanna play catch?
Bart: No thanks dad.
Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.
Grandpa Simpson: I'll play catch with you!
Homer: Go home.

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Bart: Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.

Marge: What on earth possessed you to get an earring?
Bart: Milhouse has one.
Marge: If Milhouse jumped off a cliff...
Bart: Milhouse jumped off a cliff? I'm there.
Homer: Get back here, boy. You're a disgrace to this family and its proud naval tradition.
Bart: Well, I'm keeping this earring and you can't stop me.
Homer: Oh ... I always thought Lisa would be the one to get her ears pierced.
Lisa: Can I?
Homer: No.

Bart: Hey Duffman
Duffman: Please I'm not "Duffman!" anymore, I'm just plain old Barry Duffman, oh yeah.

Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.

Chief Wiggum on phone: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my god! He's dead?
Chief Wiggum: Oh, I'm sorry. He was DUI. I get those two confused. (hangs up phone)
Woman walks in: My name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was DUI?
Chief Wiggum: Uh... talk to one of those officers over there. I'm going to lunch.

Chief Wiggum: Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around!

Mayor Quimby: Yes there is a comet and yes it is heading for our town. (Scattered clapping) You uh, don't need to applaud that.

Marge: My name is Marge Simpson and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first.
Mayor Quimby: Chat away. I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards.

Abe: That doll is EVIL, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeeeviillll!!!
Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
Abe: I just want attention.

Marge: Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so...

"Pain was like a drug, but what was more like a drug were the drugs."
- Homer



Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!


Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'


Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!


Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.


Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!


Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.


Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?


Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!


Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?


Leonard Nimoy: Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.


Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.


Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

This post has been edited by 808: Feb 3 2006, 03:05 AM

does anyone know that quote that lisa simpson says about how hallmark stole valentines day and sold it or something :blink:

Ralph (To a wolf): Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies...

Homer: Hmm, we didn't have a message when we left. How very odd.
Machine: Hello, Muddah, hello, Faddah. Here I am at Camp Granada.

Homer: Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

This post has been edited by Jessez: Feb 7 2006, 09:31 PM

Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there...

Lenny: You want another card or not?
Homer: Huh? Oh, OK. I'll take three. [Moe deals them] D'oh! D'oh!
D'oh! I mean...woo hoo.
Moe : I'm in. [tosses a chip into the pot] Let's see your cards.
Homer: Oh, I was bluffing. [shows them]
Moe : Ha ha. Come to papa -- wait a minute! You have a straight
flush, Homer! You do this every time, you -- oh, you -- oh!
Gah! I'm choking on my own rage here.
Carl : Hey, don't yell at Homer. Just 'cause he's a little slow...
[Homer gasps]
Brain: Something was said...not good. What was it?
"Don't yell at Homer!" No, that's OK. What was it? ...Slow!
They called you slow!
Homer: [stands up, yells] How dare you call me that! I -- huh?
[Lenny walks into empty kitchen wearing night cap]
Lenny: [opens fridge] Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you _are_ slow.
Brain: Something said...not good.
Lenny: Get the hell out of here!

Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Marge: But we did win.
Lionel Hutz: That's okay. The box is empty

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: Uh, your Honor, can I call for one of those bad trial thingys?
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: Yeah ... that's why you're the judge, and I am the law ... talkin' ... guy.

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Moe: Oh boy, the deep fryer's here. I got it used from the navy, you can flash fry a buffalo in 40 seconds

Homer: 40 seconds? but i want in now!

Bart: And I'll start smoking and give that up.
Homer: Good for you son, giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Here’s a dollar.
Lisa: But dad, he didn’t do anything!
Homer: Didn’t he, Lisa? Didn’t he? Wait a minute, he didn’t do anything, give me back my dollar!

Homer: How 'bout it, Bart? Would you like a backyard BBQ pit?
Bart: Can I burn evidence in it?
Homer: We can ALL burn evidence in it

*Homer reminiscing about his childhood*
Grandpa: You’re as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a stranger offers you a ride for some candy, I say ‘go for it’!
*Homer’s thought cloud disappears and he’s back to the present*
Homer: Lousy traumatic childhood!

not really a qute but a classic scene of the simpsons



This post has been edited by truck: Jun 11 2006, 06:44 PM

Lionel Hutz: Just what IS a contract? Websters defines it as an agreement under law which is unbreakable. Which is UNBREAKABLE!

* * *

Lionel Hutz: Don't you worry Mr. Simpson I watched MATLOCK in a bar last night, the sound wasn't on but I think I got the jist...

Chief Wiggum: Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.

Eat My Shorts....

funnily enough.. i dont often hear this quote whenever i actually get the chance to watch the simpsons!

Going to paint the wagon,
Going to paint it fine,
Going to use an oil base paint,
Cos the wood is pine!

milhouse: where young rich and full of sugar lets go crazy broadway style

Ranier Wolfcastle: *as a kid, in commercial* My bratwurst has a first name It's F-R-I-T-Z My bratwurst has a second name It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-H-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N

Homer: Well, I really should discuss this with my wife.
Salesman: *scoffs* Your wife? *cracks an imaginary whip*
Homer: What, you think I'm going to buy a $20,000 truck just because you make that noise?
Salesman: *does it again* *and again* *and again*
Homer: *on his knees* I'll take it!

Homer: I sure could go for a hot dog right about now.
Marge: Homer! This is a funeral!
Hot Dog Vendor: HOT DOGS!
Homer: WOO HOO!
Marge: Do you just follow my husband around everywhere?
Hot Dog Vendor: Lady, he's putting my kids through college.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

haha i love this one but i cant remember it

FBI: Now Homer, when i say hello Mr Thompson, you say "Hello". Ok. Hello Mr Thomspon.
Homer: *remains silent*

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down

*After Homer crashes the family's two cars*
Agent: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar! Ahhh! But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Brain: Heh heh heh. I woulda never thought of that.

Eat the Pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding,...

*Bear is mangling the Simpson mailbox, Homer is watching it on TV*
Homer: Hehehehe, looks like bad news for the... Impson family! Heheheh

Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

Homer: "No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him 'Gamblor' and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"

Homer: OH MY GOD... Tramapoline! Free Trambapoline!

Kent Brockman: This just in -- I'm pissed off!

Kent Brockman: And the elephant who couldn't stop laughing was put to death

Chalmers: It's not my birthday, Seymour. You know I'm a Sagittarius
Skinner: Really? I'm a Libra. There's a lot of compatibility there
Chalmers: Skinner, be gay on your own time

Homer: I think government has better things to do than read MY mail.
(Elsewhere...)
Government guy: People write letters to movie stars, but this Simpson guy writes to movies. "Dear Die Hard. You rock. Especially when that guy was on the roof. P.S: Do you know Mad Max?"

http://www.raveadelaide.com.au/gallery2/mo...-unpossible.mp3

Pinchy!

Ralph Wiggum: My nose makes its own bubblegum!!!

it tastes like burning

while being washed away in a wave of acid dressed as radioactiveman
Ranier Wolfcastle: These goggles do nothing....

Lunch Lady Doris: "They've even got Groundskeeper Willy teaching French..."

Willy: "Bonjourrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ya cheese-eatin' surrender-monkeys!"

Bart " ah meatloaf, my most hated of all loafs"